Friday, October 4, 2013

Calling all Moms/Teacher Friends

Paisley is having a little bit of trouble and I am at my wits end with her so I am asking the village for help in this matter!

She gets a behavioral report sent home every Friday then at the quarter it is averaged out for the report card.  We have seen a decline on this report each week because of her talking.  Her grades are still great but the talking is at an all time high.  She has been grounded, had privileges taken away, spanked, we have tried a scare tactic - where we explain why listening (and knowing when to stop talking) is a good skill to have in an emergency situation, we have tried a guilt trip – where we explain how her talking might cause one of her friends to get in trouble, we have tried rewarding the good stuff – where she earns back toys for doing well.  The problem is she just doesn’t care.  She doesn’t like getting into trouble and cries when she is reprimanded but she doesn’t change her behavior.  She is a good girl with a big heart but for some reason she doesn't think talking is that big of a deal. 

Examples of disciplinary fails:
Swim Lessons
Me: Paisley, if you get another bad report this week you will not be able to sign up for swim lessons.
Paisley: You know mom, if I don’t get to do swim lessons then I can play on your phone while Ryder is in his swim lesson. 

Class Party
Me: Paisley, make sure you are being a good helper in class so you earn enough points to get to go to your class party.
Paisley: It’s ok mom.  If I miss the party I go to a different class and do worksheets.  I like doing homework and worksheets are like homework.  So if you think about it not going to the party will only make me smarter.

Birthday Party
Me: Paisley, I really hope you get a good report this week so we can go to your cousin’s birthday party this weekend.
Paisley: Mom, I’m getting a little nervous about the report.  I’m not saying I was bad.  I just want to know what my options are of I don’t go to the birthday party if maybe there was a little disagreement this week.  
Paisley: Wait, you know what?  I have 6 cousins. Well, if I miss one birthday party I will still have 5 more to get to go to and we will be seeing everyone for the holidays pretty soon so I guess it wouldn’t be that bad if I didn’t get to go. 

Talking in Class
Me: Paisley, why are you talking so much in class?
Paisley: Sometimes I talk just because it is fun and other times I talk because I am so board.  We are still reviewing 1st grade stuff I already know that stuff.
Me: What about horsing around and talking in line?
Paisley: I just like to make my friends laugh, that's all.  

Her thought process and reasoning is DRIVING. ME. NUTS!  So if any of you fellow moms or teachers have ideas or suggestions of something that has worked for you, I am all ears.  

Side note: We have Parent Teacher Conferences scheduled later this month so maybe we can come up with a game plan to help Paisley with her talking.  But to be honest I would much rather her get into trouble for talk than being mean to other kids but as the parent I need to support the teacher and try to get the talking under control.      


starnes family said...

We go through the same with Lainey, but her reasoning isn't quite as articulate. I know it's frustrating, but she's quite good with making sense of her choices! Grounding works with our kids now. It will probably be something different next week. Always something!

Amy S said...

I just came across your blog and couldn't help but comment. My kids are grown, but I always had such a hard time with teachers asking me to fix something at HOME that was happening at SCHOOL. It sure sounds to me like she needs to be challenged more. Maybe even skip a grade, although I know that's drastic. But she's talking because she's bored, and the teacher is the one who needs to fix that. You certainly need to cooperate on your end, and support whatever the teacher does, but I really think they're putting too much of this burden on you.....